The week started with the Ides of March and just got more interesting:

• You have a unique bacterial signature - did you even want to know that?
• 116 year old wisteria vine is world’s largest flowering plant
• When Star Trek geeks get time and fancy equipment you end up with the world’s smallest Enterprise
• The odd finds of Google Streetview… odder that people have time to find this stuff

Maybe it’s all in the astrological timing, but have you noticed that this year’s Star Trek movie is generating more tangential quirky stuff?  Or maybe it’s all just escaped from the conventions that most of us aren’t brave enough to visit.  In any event, there’s more out there now than ever and I think you will no longer be labeled as a die-hard Trekkie for indulging. I haven’t seen anyone address the feng shui in space issue but maybe that’s in the works.

In Las Vegas, there’s a city-wide exhibit (similar to Pigs/Clowns/Bears about town) with artists rendering their vision of a new Enterprise.  My favorite is the UPS ship complete with package shoot and waiting delivery trucks although I would question why they wouldn’t use the transporter.

ThinkGeek.com has a classic red shirt with the added label “Expendable” across the front just in case you were in doubt.  I’m not entirely sure who would wear it, but it would make a great office back-handed office gift for the person you would most like to see reorged to another group.

People are checking off the invention to-do list. Aside from the warp drive and actually meeting some aliens some might say we’re almost done – now what?

CSI did a great take-off on the original (the first) Star Trek series and managed to make the set look just as cheesy and full of Styrofoam; not as easy as you might think.

I like people that are confident enough in what they’re predicting to say it’s going to happen within two decades – whether it’s meeting aliens or predicting the end of the world. This time though, it’s the aliens (read the story at the Daily Galaxy.)  So it’s time to start figuring out the appropriate etiquette, place settings, Hallmark card (we’ve been waiting?)  etc.  We don’t want to look like the galactic ignoramuses we probably are.

On the other hand would it really matter?  The SETI folks (Search for ExtraTerrestrial Intelligence) do warn that first contact is more likely to be with something resembling Star Trek’s horta (the large blob of styrofoam) than the babes in green body paint.  They’ll already have Google access apparently, so what else will we have to say?  This is going to be like Facebook reconnect air kisses isn’t it? (I never thought I’d talk to you again!… and now I find I have nothing new to say.)

Now might be a good time to get your earthling dog tag, however…. just in case.

Even if it’s not your thing, it would be hard not to know that feng shui was out there.  For the Western world this fad turned trend has grown and twisted into all kinds of unpredictable permutations.  There is feng shui for your cat, feng shui for your office cubicle, and just about everything else you can think of to the total of more than 10,000 book entries on Amazon.

Early on there was a division between traditional Chinese orientation of the compass points (based on where the nasty, dusty desert was located etc.) and a revamp using a grid for the rest of the world based on where your front door is. Okay fine, modification and adaptation are all a part of living cultures.  But what about outer space?

Where is the book on feng shui for your space ship, space station etc.?  We can see from popular TV that when the basic feng shui rules are ignored, bad things happen.  Watch any original Star Trek episode and more than likely you’ll see some evil alien come through the door that is behind the captain’s chair (key rule, never sit with your back to a door.) Think about how the all white/silver (too yin) world of Buck Rogers worked out for him. And what about all that real clutter, a.k.a. space junk, out there? It’s starting to cause serious problems just like clutter in your closet back on Earth.

Part of the problem is figuring out  where exactly is North when you’re in space. Does it change depending on what planet you’re orbiting?  Do computer screens count as windows? How do you hang crystals or wind chimes in zero gravity? It’s time to start thinking about these things.  Like anything else it’s a lot easier to figure out up front than trying to retrofit something already built.