Much of the world seems to think that the United States is just a little too greedy and ought to share more – that’s everything from Hollywood to baseball and dental care, not to mention the recession.  I’m not going to debate that because there are plenty of people out there that do and they have a lot more fun with it.  It’s just that as I’ve been taking my metal detector out and contemplating that any potential treasure would be less than 100 years old, I started to feel a little resentful.  I don’t want to move to Europe but it seems only fair that some of the things they have an overabundance of could be shared around a little better:

1.  Bank holidays – I still don’t know what they are but I know they come around with amazing regularity and since the U.S. has plenty of banks we ought to get our share.

2. Quaint villages – the ones with cobblestone streets that lead past bakeries and jewelry shops on the way to some equally quaint village square.  Outside of a reproduction in the Disney dynasty I haven’t heard of one in North America

3. I’m not envious of royalty but a little of the pomp and circumstance could be shared without losing the impact.  A few tassled horses and a gleaming carriage (not to mention some 18th century music) would make a great improvement on an army green helicopter and “Hail to the Chief” – which while it may be traditional is not really all that great a tune.

4. Castles – similar to the quaint villages but even more noticeably lacking on this continent.  Germany has an abundance and France has plenty of hunting chateaus that would do in a pinch. I’ve no doubt that American society is where it is today because of a lack of castles.

5.  Gold hoards – this is what got me thinking about this list -the huge Anglo-Saxon hoard found in a field. It’s unfair that no prior society of the United States or Canada felt the need to create and leave behind large amounts of gold and jewels for us to find.  Mexico got lucky.  There’s not even a chance of walking out into a wheat field and finding a hoard. There are some really nice pots and old walls in the Southwest but that’s not really the same thing from a treasure-hunting perspective, now is it?