It’s a universal truth that pirates can make anything more interesting -  from getting a toddler to eat to studying economics (see the new book The Invisible Hook: The Hidden Economics of Pirates) The career of legalized piracy known as privateering doesn’t get as much press but it’s still technically legal in the U.S. so if you always kinda wanted to try it out, you can still petition Congress.  If you don’t get their permission, it’s the frowned-on kind of piracy.  No promises on success but it’s there in section 8 of the Constitution: To declare war, grant letters of marque and reprisal, and make rules concerning captures on land and water.

If that fails, you can take the harder road of trying to become a Seafair Pirate, but you’ll have to live in the Seattle area for that one and quite frankly the odds are better with Congress. Like any career, there’s a job guide, Pirattitude!: So you Wanna Be a Pirate?: Here’s How!

If that all sounds like entirely too much work, buy some legos and practice talking like a pirate as a way of easing into it!